Shame and Self-Criticism – Healing the Voice That Lives Inside

The Pain That Whispers, “There’s Something Wrong With Me”

Shame isn’t always loud. Often, it’s quiet and constant. A background hum of not-enoughness. A belief that if people really knew you, they’d turn away. It can show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, emotional shutdown, or relentless self-criticism. You might push yourself harder, achieve more, or try to disappear—just to quiet the voice inside.

That voice isn’t your fault. It was learned. Often early. From caregivers who were critical or absent. From systems that made you feel unworthy, too sensitive, or like you didn’t fit. From experiences where your feelings were met with silence—or worse, with shame.

In our work, we begin to unlearn what never belonged to you in the first place.

Getting to Know the Inner Critic

Many people think they need to silence the inner critic. But like most protectors, that voice began with a purpose. To keep you safe. To keep you from being hurt, rejected, or seen too clearly. It criticises to control. To perfect. To prevent exposure.

In therapy, we don’t attack the critic—we get curious. We ask what it’s afraid of. We explore when it first appeared. And we begin to create space around it, so its voice isn’t the only one in the room.

Shame Is a Relational Wound

Shame isn’t healed in isolation. It needs to be witnessed—gently, patiently, and without agenda. That means not just talking about shame, but bringing it into the room and allowing it to be seen.

This can feel terrifying. But over time, as the shame is met with care instead of judgment, something shifts. You begin to realise that what felt unlovable is often what most needs love.

Holding the Parts You’ve Disowned

You may have parts of yourself you try to hide—the angry part, the needy part, the part that failed, the part that hurt others. In our work, we welcome these parts. Not to justify or excuse them, but to understand why they came to be.

What feels like a flaw is often a wound. What feels like weakness is often a survival strategy. Our sessions become a space where even these disowned parts can be held.

Softening Into Self-Compassion

Self-compassion isn’t about becoming endlessly kind to yourself overnight. It’s about building a new relationship with yourself—one where you can be honest without being brutal. Where you can hold your pain without turning it into a verdict.

Through our work together, we begin to build this capacity. Slowly. Gently. From the inside out.

You Are Not Broken

The shame you carry is not evidence of your failure. It’s evidence that something hurt—and that you were left alone with it.

If you’re ready to begin untangling from the shame story, to soften the voice inside, and to meet yourself with a little more care, I’m here to support you. Not to push you into positivity, but to walk with you toward something more honest—and far more human.