Perfectionism – When Being Good Enough Never Feels Like Enough

Behind the Polished Surface

You’ve always strived to do your best. You hold yourself to high standards. Maybe others see you as reliable, driven, even admirable. But beneath the surface, perfectionism can feel like walking a tightrope—one slip and everything feels like it could fall apart.

You might struggle to rest. You might obsess over small details or replay conversations in your head. Maybe you delay projects because they’re never quite ready, or you push yourself until you burn out. And yet, the praise you receive never seems to sink in. Because the goalposts keep moving.

Perfectionism isn’t about excellence—it’s about safety. About proving your worth. And in therapy, we begin to explore where that pattern began—and whether it’s still serving you.

The Early Roots of Never-Enough

Perfectionism often has its roots in childhood. Perhaps approval was conditional—dependent on performance, obedience, or appearance. Perhaps mistakes weren’t safe. Or you were praised for being “the good one,” the achiever, the strong one—at the cost of your full emotional self.

You may have internalised the belief that your value lies in how little trouble you cause, how much you achieve, or how well you meet others’ expectations. Therapy becomes a space where those beliefs are gently unpacked—not with blame, but with compassion.

Understanding the Inner Critic

Perfectionism often travels with a harsh inner voice. A critic that says you should have done more, said less, tried harder. That voice may have helped you stay on track, but it may now be running the show.

Rather than trying to silence it, we get to know it. What is it afraid will happen if you ease up? What part of you is it trying to protect? And what other inner voices have been drowned out in the process?

Letting Go Without Falling Apart

Letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean becoming careless or apathetic. It means discovering what it feels like to show up as you are—not just as what you produce. It means learning to live from your values rather than your fear.

This often involves grief. Grief for the years spent striving. For the tenderness hidden behind competence. And for the ways you’ve been praised for being someone you’re not.

Making Room for Messiness

In our sessions, you don’t have to be polished. You don’t need to impress. You can come in confused, emotional, inarticulate—whatever is real. Together, we create a space where the pressure to perform begins to soften, and where being human is more than enough.

You Are Not Your Output

Perfectionism thrives on the belief that worth must be earned. Therapy offers another way—a relationship where your presence matters more than your performance.

If you’re ready to live with more ease, more authenticity, and a little less pressure, I’m here to walk with you.