People-Pleasing and Boundaries – Reclaiming Your Right to Take Up Space
When Saying Yes Costs Too Much
You might be the one everyone turns to. The helper. The peacekeeper. The one who anticipates others’ needs before your own even register. You may find it hard to say no, to speak your truth, or to express anger—even when the cost is your own exhaustion, resentment, or quiet sense of disconnection.
People-pleasing isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a survival strategy. One often rooted in early experiences where approval was conditional, love had strings attached, or conflict wasn’t safe. You learned to attune outward to stay connected—even if it meant disconnecting from yourself.
In therapy, we begin to explore that pattern. Not to shame it, but to understand it—and gently loosen its grip.
Understanding the Origins
People-pleasing often stems from formative experiences where being liked, agreeable, or helpful was rewarded—and self-expression, neediness, or boundary-setting were met with withdrawal, criticism, or chaos. These early dynamics shape our nervous system. We learn to monitor for signs of disapproval. To self-censor. To manage others’ emotions, sometimes at the expense of our own.
In our work together, we trace these relational roots and begin asking: What did you have to give up to stay safe? What parts of you were silenced in the name of harmony?
Boundaries Are Not Walls—They’re Doors
Learning to set boundaries doesn’t mean cutting people off or becoming rigid. It means recognising your limits, your needs, and your worth. It means choosing when and how you want to connect—not out of guilt, but from a place of clarity.
In therapy, we build this capacity together. You won’t be pushed into assertiveness or quick changes. Instead, we’ll explore what boundaries feel like in your body. Where yes lives. Where no tightens. What safety feels like when you honour your truth.
When You’re Afraid of Disappointing People
Saying no might bring up fear—of being rejected, resented, or abandoned. You may feel selfish or wrong for putting yourself first. These feelings are real. And they deserve compassion.
Together, we make space to grieve the role you’ve played, and to experiment with a new one. One where you don’t have to earn your place. One where your value isn’t based on how helpful, easy, or agreeable you are.
Reconnecting With What You Want
People-pleasing often leaves us unsure of what we actually want. In our sessions, we gently begin rebuilding that inner compass. What brings you joy? What do you truly need? What’s the difference between care and obligation?
This isn’t just about learning to say no. It’s about learning to say yes to yourself.
A Relationship Where You Don’t Have to Perform
In therapy, you won’t be rewarded for being “good.” You don’t have to manage my feelings or present a curated version of yourself. This is a space where you get to explore what it’s like to be fully you—without apology.
If you’re ready to loosen the grip of people-pleasing and begin building boundaries that honour your truth, I’m here to walk that with you—gently, steadily, and always with care.