Borderline Personality – Being With the Depths, Not Just the Intensity

A Nervous System on High Alert

Living with the emotional patterns commonly called Borderline Personality can feel like riding waves that rise too fast, crash too hard, and offer little room to breathe. There may be times when your feelings shift quickly and dramatically. You might go from deep closeness to sudden disconnection, from calm to crisis. At the core of it all is often a longing—to be seen, to be safe, to be loved without condition.

But when safety has been inconsistent—especially early in life—it can shape the way we relate, trust, and hold ourselves together. What others call "too much" is often a nervous system doing everything it can to protect you from the unbearable.

You Are Not Broken

You may have been told you're manipulative, dramatic, unstable. You may have internalised those labels, or been passed between services that focused on managing your behaviour rather than understanding your pain. In this space, we start fresh. I don’t see you as a problem to be fixed. I see someone who has learned to survive in the best way they could.

My work is centred in deep respect for your emotional world. Together, we slow things down—not to suppress your intensity, but to get closer to what it’s trying to tell us.

Building Safety—Slowly, Gently

Therapy is not always easy for people with this experience. Trust can feel fragile. Sessions may bring up fears of abandonment, frustration, or shame. That’s okay. Those responses are welcome here.

We focus first on building a therapeutic relationship that can hold your full range of emotions. I’m not here to pathologise you. I’m here to stay with you—even when things feel chaotic. Especially then.

Over time, our relationship becomes a kind of rehearsal space: for expressing anger without rupture, for asking for connection without fear, for repairing when things feel broken. These experiences help build new emotional muscle—internally and relationally.

Understanding the Roots

Often, these emotional patterns grow from early environments where your needs weren’t consistently met. Maybe love was unpredictable. Maybe emotions were too much for your caregivers to handle. Maybe there was trauma—explicit or subtle—that left you unsure who you were, or whether you were allowed to be fully yourself.

In our work, we can gently revisit these layers—not to dwell in the past, but to release what no longer fits. Together, we make space for your story to be told in a way that makes sense.

A Different Kind of Stability

Rather than trying to regulate you into compliance, we focus on helping you feel steady from within. That might mean learning to notice early emotional cues, building practices of self-compassion, or recognising the difference between connection and fusion.

And when rupture happens—which it sometimes will—we repair. We learn that relationship doesn’t have to break every time something feels hard.

Wholeness Is Possible

The intensity you carry isn’t a flaw. It’s often a sign of depth, sensitivity, and resilience. My role is to help you access those qualities with more clarity and less pain.

If you’ve been longing for a relationship where you don’t have to explain why you feel so much, where you can be met with warmth rather than wariness—I’d be honoured to work with you.